These are the outtakes of a skit for a video application to Good Game. Couldn’t get over the line, “Please leave me alone.” Something about it’s combination of assertiveness and pathetic desperation touched us right on the bone where all the funny is stored. Needless to say, the length and the fact that this portrayed me as someone that didn’t understand human boundaries meant that this didn’t make the cut.
Posted May 3, 2011 at 11:45pm in alone, good game clinton pat videogames do you like videogames? mario
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Drawing done at work - as Pat pointed out to me, for an animalistic guy with claws, Wolverine doesn’t do enough slicing people’s heads off. I’m going to go stick this on my fridge.
Back to school - My Mum recently decided to enrol into art school for the first time, fulfilling a lifelong dream. Check out some of her drawings. Pretty awesome. She now hangs out with cooler people/goes to more parties than I do.
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THE DRAWING
Dr Fargelstein looked at the drawing. He examined it. He analysed it. He took it apart in his mind, reformed it into a few other drawings, like a sort of picture anagram, and then mentally put it back together. He was now intimately familiar with the drawing. The drawing that his patient had handed in to him minutes before. His patient, Kent, sat on the couch, waiting for the doctor to say something. The doctor let the suspense grow like a Chia Pet. He wanted that suspense thick, green and bushy. You wouldn’t know if it was a cat or dog under those chia sprouts. You’d have a chia ball. A great big ball of chia suspense.
Dr Fargelstein suddenly remembered how Gracia loved Chia Pets. That crazy chick loved all sorts of crazy things. He breathed a chuckle out of his nose. Ah, Gracia. He shook his head. Back to business. Back to the boy.
“Ah, yes, well… Kent. I’ve taken a look at your drawing and I’ve thought on it. I’ve thought on it a great deal.”
“Yeah,” said Kent.
“And, well, if you look closely at the drawing. No, if you look kind of from a distance at the drawing - hold it away from your face. Well, you’ll see that everything in the drawing kind of looks like a penis. You have this evil emperor, which would be the main desires of your penis. And you have the ghost penis, which is like the more spiritual nature of your penis and you have the little chickens…”
Dr Fargelstein was on auto-pilot. His penis theory was usually right. It all came back to the penis. His mind wandered. He couldn’t help it. The flashbacks had been getting worse.
It was August. He walked in the carnival with Gracia’s hand in his.
”..and so it had to do with her penis the whole time,” he was saying to Gracia. “HER penis?” she said.
“Well, yes, you see, a woman may not physically HAVE a penis, but they have a spiritual penis.”
“Right,” she said. He could tell he was falling in love with her. They paused at the boardwalk. The sun was setting. He leaned back against it as she looked out over the sea. A light spray filled the air. He turned her head and looked at her. She looked at him. They both laughed.
“Uh, what was I saying?” he asked her.
“Penises. Something about penises.”
“Right. So, uh… Penises. Well… Penises…” He couldn’t think straight. “Penises, uh…”
“You know, John, there’s something… There’s something I haven’t told you… about myself.”
“Penises are usually… Oh, what?”
“I said…” She turned around and looked at the wooden floorboards of the boardwalk. “There’s something I haven’t told you.”
“Oh. OK.” A dog walked up to John at the moment. “Hey, boy. How’s it going?”
“Dick! Dick! Come here, Dick!” cried an old man. He laughed jovially. “Dick likes you!”
John turned to Gracia, a knowing look in his eyes. “What I tell you,” he said. “It’s all about penis. Now, what was it you were going to tell me?”
A tear ran down her cheek, but she turned away so John didn’t see it. She wiped it away and smiled. “Nothing. Just…”
They embraced.
Back in the office, Dr Fargelstein stood before Kent after finishing his speech. “Gracia” he whispered.
“What?” said Kent.
“Hm? Oh. Uh, nothing. Nothing. Just… That’s all for this week, Kent.”
Kent left the office thoroughly confused. Dr Fargelstein looked at the drawing, but there was just one penis he saw.
Gracia’s.
BOM BOM BOM! ROCK AND ROLL MOTHERFUCKERS!
K-pop guilty pleasures
I became Nick Cave for the weekend. Black suits, alcohol and Kylie Minogue. With a voice like Wolverine from the animated series, I decided to have a weekend of bromance with my bff and co-collaborator, Clinton Macquire.
We proceeded to swig rum and embark on the most manly of experiences - Surfing the internet while drunk.
While it started out innocently enough, pretty soon we ended up confessing our love of K-pop supergroup ‘Girls Generation’. Watching their smash hit ‘Gee Gee Baby Baby’ an embarrassing amount of times forced us to drunkenly announce our favourites (definitely 1:51). For some reason when combined with Rum this becomes the sleaziest thing in the world. Try it for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ
This post is just killing time while we edit footage for a show we recently shot - reminder inspiration courtesy of Ms. Fox over at http://flyaroundmyprettylittlemiss.wordpress.com
I promise this blog will be back up and running soon. In the meantime, pick your favourite member of Girl’s Generation.
